| surgery today |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  high | ] |
Finally am getting some relief from menopausal-related issues. I've had enough pain meds today to float around for hours. It's too bad this stuff is only available via prescription. Awesome! |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 18th, 2008|01:47 pm] |
From VoteFromAbroad.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2008|10:10 pm] |
Note to self:
DO NOT read H.P. Lovecraft stories about rats & demons when you are alone in a house at night and the wind is so strong it knocks things off tables and rattles doors.
That is all. |
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| Lottie's hot pepper sauce |
[Sep. 1st, 2008|02:49 pm] |
I made an attempt to re-create Lottie's Barbados hot pepper sauce using the Scotch Bonnet peppers and some red hot peppers from my garden. Russell says it has too much mustard, even though I followed the recipe exactly. I wore a dust mask to keep the pepper oils from my eyes and mouth, and it worked. However, I ignored the advice to wear latex gloves while chopping the peppers, and now my thumb and index finger on my left hand (the one that held the peppers) are burning, burning, burning, even though I've washed them repeatedly. I got some pepper oil underneath my thumbnail, and it only stops burning when I keep it in my mouth.
I remember when my younger brother took a newly picked and sliced hot banana pepper and thrust it against my mouth -- my lip swelled up and burned for at least 30 minutes. But I finished handling the peppers almost an hour ago, and it STILL burns! Ye-ouch!
By the way, I get SPORE delivered to my house next week, and it's MINE, ALL MINE!!!! Bwwhahahahahahaha!!
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| Nerd test |
[Jun. 10th, 2008|10:10 pm] |
I took this test a couple of years ago. Looks like I've progressed along the nerd scale.....
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| Of cats and prey |
[May. 1st, 2008|09:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
I awoke this morning to the sound of chirping. Coming from my youngest cat.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2007|03:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
Ahhh, there's nothing quite like the feeling you get from being well-stuffed with turkey, mashed taters, stuffing, and gravy. MMmmm................mmmMMMMHHHHHH!
I decided to have our traditional Turkey Day today because I always get depressed eating non-turkey food items at my in-laws for Thanksgiving. Right now, I have a large pot of potential turkey soup simmering on the stove, and will get to eat left-over turkey dinner and fresh-made turkey soup for the next several days.
This time last year, both Mom and Dad were still alive, and called me to complain about the terrible Thanksgiving they had at my Aunt Peggy's house (okay, technically it was a year minus five days ago).
Too many changes in the past 2 1/2 years to cope with - and have left me feeling terribly nostalgic for my former life. Driving to & from work these past few weeks in DC traffic makes me long for the State College "rush minutes" and the Bellefonte "never rush traffic" times. If things work out with PSU, I shouldn't have to worry about traffic for a long, long time.
On Thursday, it was raining. There had been a lot of wind during the night and many leaves had come down. So, of course, all the people who live in the DC metro area who have NEVER SEEN RAIN BEFORE (which is >99% of them) had to drive 10 - 20 miles UNDER the speed limit in moderate to mild rain. It took me 62 minutes to travel 12.9 miles. I sat through 4 light changes at one intersection until I could finally go through.
Friday, I got stuck (in bright sunshine on dry roads) behind someone going 15 miles UNDER the speed limit in the LEFT LANE on a 4 lane divided highway. After waiting for a break in the regularly-moving traffic to my right, I was finally able to get around her. At the next light, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a blonde Asian woman, whose head barely rose above the dashboard, gripping the top of the wheel with both hands tight together. I guess she's another one of those wives who followed their husbands to the US, and never bothered to take a driving test or get a driver's license. Every time I've seen some idiot traveling the WRONG WAY down a divided 4 lane highway, it has been some tiny Asian woman looking very confused.
I want OUT of my office where I stare at a computer screen for most of the day. I want OUT of this traffic, pollution, gang fights (last week, some girl got stabbed in the hand at Wendy's [WENDY'S!!] and her boyfriend stabbed and KILLED the guy who stabbed HER outside at a bus stop. In the middle of the afternoon. In front of dozens of witnesses. The paper said they were part of the Crips and Bloods), and ego-boosting nearly everyone engages in.
Oh, well. I can only wait for PSU to call me back. *bites nails yet again* |
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| cat update part III |
[Jul. 14th, 2007|08:20 pm] |
Misty and Kimi will now sniff noses when they meet. They can lounge together less than 2 feet apart. One will eat while the other is watching, and I haven't heard Kimi hiss at her for over a week now.
Cassie is another case entirely. She watches Misty like a hawk - refuses to sniff ANYTHING about her - and won't let Misty come within 2 feet without growling.
Misty has taken to sleeping on all the places Kimi sleeps - on top of the kitty condo, in the papasan chair, on the old office chair, etc. Kimi sleeps on our bed during the day, and Misty sleeps there at night.
Cassie is extremely friendly with us, though, and has gone back to hogging the chocolate pudding we're trying to peacefully eat out of a plastic container. She ate over HALF of mine the other night! She's snuggly and cuddly in the evenings, and follows us all around the house. Kimi comes up to be petted, and rolls over so you can pet her belly when she's on the bed.
Crypt, I've started writing my book (a sort of "how to teach science" for elementary teachers) and I'd like you're help in editing the chapters as I finish them. There should be less than 10 chapters when I'm done. I have the first one finished, and I'll be sending it to you to read & edit. Oh, crap, you don't have Word, do you? What format should I put it in for you to look at? I'm willing to pay you for your help, too, so think it over and let me know. |
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| cat update 2 |
[Jun. 30th, 2007|10:42 pm] |
Just got back from five days of sifting through Mom & Dad's belongings. I brought back another car load (bigger than the first two), but spent hours cleaning and cataloging items. Whew!
Kimi nuzzled me and rolled over so I could pet her belly when I came into the house. Cassie rubbed all over my legs and bit me. Misty cried until I picked her up.
Kimi and Cassie played "chase the cat" up and down the stairs. Misty is snuggling with Dad. Cassie climbed onto the back of my computer chair, saw that I had a nice, frosty glass of filtered water with ice, and proceeded to DRINK FROM MY GLASS for over 15 minutes. She's now rubbing her jowls on my computer monitor and trying to walk across the keyboard.
Cassie seems to have completely adapted, if only she didn't have to run away from that pesky younger cat who only wants to play. Kimi won't snuggle for any length of time, but cries when she sees us and still loves to be petted. Misty seems happy to have someone to chase, and she keeps approaching both of them to play. Kimi will sleep in the living room within jumping distance of Misty, so she must feel somewhat secure.
On another topic, we did a lot of cleaning and moving furniture at the Ellenton house. Crypt, you ought to like it there when we all go up next month. Quizpost and I saw a small bear, and wondered where its mom was. Quiz, Korgulon, and I went out spotting deer and saw 14 of them. The berry bushes look good, and the lawn is nicely mown. There are new beds and new bedding in all the rooms, and Grandma's recliner is in the living room. Her pots & pans and her silverware are there now, too.
Hope you're having a nice weekend! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2007|09:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
I hate this possible impending drama regarding the dispersal of my parents' estate. It gives me nightmares. Long story short: two brothers with ideas opposed by one sister, slightly opposed by other sister. Executors v non-executors. Men v women. Siblings v in-laws. However you look at it, it could become ugly. And here I only wanted one last time at my parents' house before it becomes totally cleared out to remember my childhood and their lives.
It's just so strange - my life was so stable for such a long time. Really, between the time I got married and started back to college, all I did was pop out kids, be a mommy, cook, clean, bitch, etc. No offense, kids, but there were many times I thought that my brain had turned to mush, and all my life I would be a nobody who accomplished nothing more than what the most retarded, committed mother could do: raise kids and keep them clean & fed.
When I started working again, I was so stressed about keeping up the same amount of effort at home that I had always done, while working full-time. I have very few memories of that time (like the first 4 years of teaching) - I was exhausted all the time. I remember our summers as times of schedule-free days.
Anyway, when I went up to visit my parents in November, I couldn't help thinking "how long will this go on? Another five years? Seven years?"
They seemed almost timeless, although age had painfully caught up with them. But the house was the same, the town was the same, the people were the same. (The same woman sat behind my parents in church for over thirty YEARS!)
And now, it's completely, irrevocably, different. The house will be sold. I doubt I'll travel that far just to visit my aunt. I won't see those people I've known my entire life. I won't sit in the pew and stare at the stained glass window, wondering about the man who dedicated that window to his dead wife, and think about my wedding in that church.
I like to have things change, but these changes have been so fast & furious that I feel like I'm on a carnival ride, with my life speeding out of control. This is the 4th place I've lived in since September '05 (counting State College), and I'm really tired of shuffling my stuff around. I'm tired of not knowing my neighbors well. I'm tired of trying to adapt to my adult children changing their lives around because they sincerely don't know where they're going or what they want to do. And I wonder if my own attempts to get out of the rut I was in prompted this entire mess. Whatever else I did with my life, I knew down to my bones I did not want to stay in the same place, working the same job, for the rest of my life. To me, that's death in life.
I have goals I'd like to achieve in the next five years, but don't think I can do them due to family constraints.
I think once everything is over & done with my parents' stuff, it will be easier to deal with it. And if I could only convince my siblings to visit ME on occasion, instead of the other way round, it might make me happier. |
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| Long time, no post. |
[Jun. 4th, 2007|08:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | morose | ] |
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!
Yeah, and when life hands you a big, steaming pile of crap, what are you supposed to do with THAT? Shitpatties? Crapcakes?
I miss my parents every single day. I have this weird, obsessive thought: they don't know where I am. I moved on Mother's Day weekend. Since I used to call them every week without fail, and know subconsciously I haven't called them since early March, I keep finding this thought running through my head: "They can't find me if they need me! They don't know where I live now!"
Nearly everybody loses their parents sooner or later. Both of my maternal grandparents died even before my older brother was born. I don't remember my mother ever discussing them much when we were growing up. I just remember her saying that both her mother and father were dead, and they died before I was born. It was much later I learned more about them than that.
And here I am, AS OLD AS NORMA DESMOND (see, Quizpost, I ADMIT IT!) and missing my parents as if I were a child.
I was driving home from work in pouring rain tonight. DC metro drivers act each and every time as if they've never seen rain before, and slow down to 5 - 10 mph on the interstate highways at rush hour!!! Some idiot of a crazy man merged onto the highway between me & the car in front of me and was going approximately 60 mph. He nearly ran into the driver in front, and I had to slam on my brakes when he slammed on his. He proceeded to cross 4 lanes of traffic in heavy rain w/o a turn signal, and ran into a puddle so big he threw a spray of water across 4 lanes. I was momentarily blinded by the spray. I found myself thinking, "If I get hurt in this accident, how will Mom & Dad ever find out?" and "Will Mom and Dad want to visit me in the hospital if I get hurt?"
I must have had more than a few seconds for my life to flash before my eyes if I could come up with two completely irrational thoughts while wondering if I was going to crash.
Every time something good happens at work, the thought flashes through my brain that I ought to remember to tell my mother about it the next time I call, immediately followed by the depressing reality of her death.
I still have stupid thank-you notes to write to people, and I can't write more than the first sentence without crying. When I meet people from my hometown, and they offer their sympathies, I just want to shake them and tell them to leave me alone with my grief.
I don't expect to stop missing them, but hope to stop the irrational thoughts about them not being able to find me.
And, note to my offspring, DON'T EVER MOVE SOMEPLACE WITHOUT TELLING ME WHERE YOU ARE!
I wish I could drink more, but am under doctor's orders to cut down, if not cut it out completely. (I guess he hasn't heard that wine is GOOD for you!)
In other news, a couple of my former students were busted for drug dealing this past week. And a student from the OTHER team at Bellefonte, of the kind they NEVER LET ME TEACH (I got mostly the low-level kids), was injured in Iraq. He's an Army Ranger. What does that tell you about the caliber of student placed on my teaching team??
And I wrote a particularly pointed letter to Korgulon's superintendent, laying the blame for her leaving teaching squarely on her principal's unethical and unprofessional behavior. Let's hope some investigations are in order. I used my formal title, the return address of my gov. office, and threw in a little name-dropping in hopes of piquing his interest in looking into this.
Wednesday, I get to go to Capitol Hill to watch & listen to my boss testifying before a House Subcommittee. I hope it's worth going through the security hassles just to get in the building. Crypt, remember when the Fun Fruits wrapper in your pants pocket set off the metal detector at the House?
Next week I'm off to Colorado Springs for a conference. Apparently, there are big-ass mountains in Colorado. According to the photo of the hotel I'll be staying in, they're right behind it! Anybody else ever heard of these mountains? They gots SNOW on them in the photo.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2007|07:17 pm] |
Oh god, this made me laugh!
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| Lists of stuff my parents saved |
[Apr. 8th, 2007|08:41 pm] |
Over the past few years, I've written a couple of lists of strange things my parents had in their home that I would surreptiously throw away when I visited them. Both of them suddenly passed away this winter within 8 weeks of each other, and now I have the sad task of working with my siblings to clear out their 54 years of accumulated STUFF. But this is not ORDINARY stuff, nosireebob! It includes STUFF from both my maternal and paternal grandparents, GREAT-GRANDPARENTS, two great uncles (Willard & Ivan, for those who know), and stuff from childhood from all of my siblings. Considering that my maternal grandparents lost all their furnishings in a fire when my mother was less than a week old, and my parents also lost nearly everything in a fire when they were first married, they managed to gather an awful lot of things in their years together.
So, here's the latest list of (some) of the things I packed for Goodwill or set out for my siblings or simply threw away this weekend:
- At least 1000 twist ties - still stuck together from the package of baggies needing twist ties. Enough to last me for the next 20 years or more. I took them, because I still need the occasional twist tie, but don't buy plastic storage bags that need them.
- My father's Boy Scout uniform - he was 78 when he died, and must have stopped being a scout about 63 years ago.
- My great-aunt's wedding veil - loaned to my mother for my wedding, which she forgot to tell me about, so I made my own. Lost it before my sister got married, so she didn't wear it, either. Hasn't been used since my aunt got married in 1949. In the original box.
- A quilt my grandmother inherited from her GREAT-GRANDMOTHER. Oddly enough, in great condition. It goes to living relatives who still have the last name of my great-great-great grandmother's family. They've already asked us about the quilt.
- Bobby pins. The old-fashioned type (not used in decades) like the witch in the Bugs Bunny cartoons (the one who loses them when she takes off in a hurry - remember?). Thrown away.
- Rubber bands in a ball that were so old they had solidified. Thrown away.
- The card on my bassinet from the hospital when I was born. In a box of received Christmas cards from the late 1990s. I've never seen it before.
- Five 70 gallons bags of clothing. Just from this weekend. Mostly my mother's. And only some blouses, sweaters, and a couple of dresses and some coats. And we're not done. This doesn't include most of my father's clothes.
- Two dresses of mine (homemade) from the early 1970s or late 1960s.
- The top of a clown outfit for my DOLL from the spring of 1964. I know the date because I was in 2nd grade and in a play. I was a clown and carried a doll dressed like me. My mother made both my outfit and the doll's outfit. I wore the clown costume for Halloween for a year or two, and so did my sister. I even had a pointed hat with a pom-pom on top. Why the doll outfit was saved I couldn't even begin to guess.
- Pieces of string too small to use.
- Pencils (sharpened to point!) too small to hold - they were nothing but a point and a used eraser.
- About eleven toothbrushes. And we found over 15 new toothbrushes still in packages.
- Over 40 small pieces of soap - you know, the kind too small to use but too big to throw away? They must have been saved for decades - because I threw the others away before I moved away to college.
- Empty Danish cookie tins - about 10 - because you'll never know when you need ANOTHER cookie tin, do you?
- Shoes from the 40s.
- To date, almost 30 boxes of books. And we're not even half done with book sorting. (They go to the local library.)
- Dishes from the early 50s, the late 60s, the late 70s, and the 90s (each time my mother bought a new set, she saved the old one).
- Used candles. By the boxload.
- A box labeled "used Christmas cards." Burned.
- Leftover wallpaper from the original papering of the upstairs hallway in 1962 or so. Leftover wallpaper from the second papering of the upstairs hallway in 1976. Leftover carpeting from the carpet laid down in 1962 and removed in the late 1980s.
- All of our ice skates from our childhood. Ditto to sleds, bikes, skis, ski boots, and even my father's sled.
- Some kind of ledge from a business my grandfather dealt with in the 20s to the 40s, with only a name and a number for various accounts, listing my grandfather as one among many. No explanation - just names and numbers.
- An old set of encyclopedias from 2 great uncles to my mother.
I just shake my head at it all. My father inherited stuff when his 94-year-old mother died in 1993, and even SHE had stuff from previous relatives she hadn't sorted before she died. He took it to our house and just tucked it away without going through it. That means that my siblings and I are sometimes 3 or 4 generations removed from some of the boxes of books, household goods, and sheer STUFF people collected. Unfortunately, none of them were wealthy enough to purchase things of true value - their only value is sentimental, for the most part. |
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| Prayer Tech Support |
[Mar. 19th, 2007|10:39 pm] |
Jeff: Welcome to Prayercorp's Online Tech Support, my name is Jeff. How can I help you?
Aaron: Hi Jeff. I can't seem to get my Prayer to work.
Jeff: Okay, Aaron. May I have your account number?
Aaron: Sure. it's xxx-xxx-xxx (data encrypted for privacy)
Jeff: Okay, Aaron. Please wait while I pull up your account information.
Aaron: Okay, thanks.
Jeff: Alright, Aaron. It looks like everything should be in working order. Would you like me to test your connection remotely?
Aaron: Sure, thanks.
Jeff: Okay, great. I sent the test prayer.
Jeff: Tell me when anything happens.
Aaron: What do you mean?
Jeff: Tell me when anything happens.
Aaron: Anything?
Jeff: Yes.
Aaron: Can you be more specific?
Jeff: I'm sorry. Let me know when anything happens around you.
Aaron: Okay...well the wind just blew a tree branch against the window.
Jeff: Great, it looks like everything is working. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Aaron: Wait, what do you mean?
Jeff: I sent a test prayer to the God server through your line. The prayer was for anything to happen and something just happened on your end.
Aaron: But it was just the wind.
Jeff: God is all powerful and controls the wind. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Aaron: Wait a second. Do you mind if I test the connection while I have you on the line just to be sure?
Jeff: Okay.
Aaron: Thanks.
Jeff: Please let me know after you have prayed.
Aaron: I prayed 5 minutes ago and nothing.
Jeff: Can I ask what you prayed for?
Aaron: World peace.
Jeff: That prayer is too large for the God server to process. Try praying for something smaller.
Aaron: Why aren't you guys able to...nevermind...whatever.
Jeff: Please let me know after you have prayed.
Aaron: Okay I prayed again about 10 minutes ago and nothing happened.
Jeff: Can I ask what you prayed for?
Aaron: I prayed for one of my favorite bands to come to town. I just checked their website and they're not even touring.
Jeff: I'm checking your line for data transfer.
Jeff: The prayer was answered. The answer was wait.
Aaron: But it says right on the box "Prayer always works!" It doesn't say anything about having to wait.
Jeff: Prayer is guaranteed to work. You'll sometimes have to wait a very long time for a prayer to work. Did you read the instructions?
Aaron: Yes and I'm pretty sure I followed them quite closely. I installed Jesus 5.1 and let it run for a while and then installed Prayer. I read the user agreement that said the God server answers prayers and I was asked if I'd allow the communication and I accepted. I even hit myself in the head with the hammer included in the box. I have to tell you though it's quite hard to believe prayer actually works. I know a few people who say they have had good luck with it but I don't think it's actually working for them either.
Jeff: I think I see the problem. Do you have Reason 2007 installed?
Aaron: Of course.
Jeff: We've been experiencing a lot of problems with it lately. Don't worry. We have a solution.
Jeff: Just think of something very generic that you want to happen and when anything remotely similar happens you'll know for certain Prayer is working again.
Aaron: How long will it take to work?
Jeff: It will work much faster if you uninstall Reason 2007.
Aaron: Can you transfer me to sales? I think I'd like my money back. |
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| still sad and not sleeping well |
[Mar. 16th, 2007|11:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
So I went to see a doctor today. Told her about my bout with acute depression in early 2000 (which was caused by MULTIPLE emotional stresses, all of which involved life and death) in the context of when I last needed a sleeping aide, and her only question was, "Do you want to kill yourself right now?"
Kill myself? KILL MYSELF?!?!?!? What kind of a stupid question was that??? I want to be able to SLEEP, not die! Geez, lady! Where did you get your medical training??
Anyway, I now have a 10 day prescription for Ambien. I've been taking Korgulon's anti-anxiety sleep-aid drug, but it really leaves my mental facilities fuzzy and logy for hours. Ambien lets me sleep but wake up refreshed and aware.
My blood pressure has skyrocketed, though, and I'll need medication to deal with it. I don't expect to quickly drop 60+ lbs. anytime soon, so I guess it's time to go on meds for it. I have a doctor's appointment for Monday for that.
I put one of the planters Mom received after Dad's death in my office. The other one sits by the French doors, and Misty knocked it over already. Speaking of Misty, she's been traumatized. She cried continuously yesterday whenever Dad was gone. We spent almost 10 minutes after we first got home, coaxing her out of her hiding place under Korgulon's bed. She needs to be in contact with us when she's awake. And she almost shoved me out of bed last night when I was trying to lie down in "her" place.
I had to fill out multiple forms at the doctor's office today, and I couldn't even remember what day or date it was. All I knew what that it was March and 2007. I'm glad I'm off work until Thursday of next week. I really needed it.
Quizpost & Crypthanatopsis, I hope you guys don't get too much snow. I wouldn't worry about shoveling the driveway unless the forecast was for below freezing temperatures for a week or more. (I haven't checked it.) You might be able to get by with letting it melt, unless you get around a foot or so.
It's raining here. Like my tears that come & go. The strangest things start me up. Last night, I was looking up the weather forecast for State College, and when I found out about the winter storm, I immediately thought, "I'll call Mom and tell her about it. Marty will be over to plow her driveway," and starting crying when I realized I'll never be able to call her again. And now even writing this has made me cry again.
Better go back to reading tripe on the Internet. |
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| another prayer |
[Mar. 9th, 2007|07:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
Dear God, just because I made fun of you in my previous e-mail, you didn't have to go kill my mother to get back at me.Thanks a lot.
I'll miss you, mom, for the rest of my life. |
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| My evening prayer |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|06:39 pm] |
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Dear God, if you'll make the blood clot in Dick Cheney's leg move up into his brain and cause a stroke so he can never never never never never never never never never never again make any coherent statements or writings or decisions, I'll start believing in you again and never stop. Kthnx - Your friend, Barb |
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